I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
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