So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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