bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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