You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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