i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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