I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
