All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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