It's Friday. Sex?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
