i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
