you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
