i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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