I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Best friends brother. Beat that.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
