he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
