that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
