DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
