I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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