you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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