You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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