Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
