It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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