remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
