My Higher Power is John Stamos
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
this hospital has no fireball
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
