Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
