OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
