Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's just like the Real World with babies
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
