I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
