It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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