no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
