We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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