shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
