I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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