oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
