it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
