we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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