When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
