My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
