Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
