just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
