You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
