That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
