god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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