What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
operation have a gay friend backfired
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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