One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
