he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
