fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
This gyro tastes like lonliness
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
