Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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