Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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