dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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