i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
