Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
