i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
