it hurts more in the daytime
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
