im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm at about main and main street
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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