I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
