But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
