Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
